Today we've been married for 45 days! We sometimes don't even think about it, because we're just doing our thing & loving the journey! There have been things I've learned in these 45 days, and I thought I'd share about 3 quick pointers. If you're single then you can begin to evaluate how you approach the search for a lifetime partner... if you're married then you can just laugh at the things you probably already know!
Running into an acquaintance today, it was funny to hear them shout out, "the newlyweds"! Wow, I guess that's us. Friends for five years turned into lovers and now even deeper friends. Friends that gave advice to each other in past relationships...so there's very little we don't know about how we both maneuvered through the single life. Friends that have decided that we don't want any other person in our lives.
My husband loves to mail me cards when he travels, and the one I received before the wedding read, "I don't have to be your first love... I just want to be your last!" I was sold right there. First loves are great if you can find and keep them, but the last love is wonderful because you no longer have to search or look for the next best person or the newer model. Good love is like a vintage sports car that gains value after it's been purchased. The longer you have the automobile the more you boast about the year it was created...and it's STILL quite the ride even with all the new toys on the road.
1) I don't like raspberries!
Okay, so eating is a critical part of a relationship! Many of us revolve our whole agenda around this fellowship. My husband is not a big guy, but he eats like a giant... like every 2-3 hours or he gets loopy! Darryl doesn't care too much about where or what...just make it good & on schedule! And while you're making it, remember that there are only about 5 things he doesn't like to eat, raspberries being one of them! At home I don't cook with that fruit, but while we were out one day I suggested we split a piece of cake with raspberries on top. It looked so yummy, but I didn't want the whole thing! "NO, girl did you forget that I don't like raspberries...see you don't even know what I like!" I was caught, and we both started laughing! That cake looked so good, but I had forgotten his "Details List". Each of us come with a specific list of our likes and dislikes of various things. I'm not dating a stranger anymore, I'm with my husband and so now I must remember what keeps him happy and what makes him frown... I fixed it quick, "waiter, can you bring us a slice of key lime pie to split?" That's his favorite dessert, and one that I like too!
2) Do the math! 1+1=1
Being the youngest child and getting married at 40 years old has made me quite good at the "1 Rule". There has been 1 person to decide what car to purchase, 1 person to decide what temperature to put the air on, 1 person to sleep on down feathered pillows... yep, just 1 please! As a single person, I went to the movies alone and traveled alone a lot. I was cool being just ME! Now I'm part of a couple, so I cook for 2 people, wash clothes for 2 people, and we buy plane tickets for 2. I've doubled now, but God sees US as 1...the other half of my soul is now here! As I am now praying for US, my husband is still attracted to my individuality. My opinion didn't get buried when I said "I do"! It's not time to hop on one foot like Coming to America! There's a balance in going from a single 1 to a married 1. Yes, God sees us as 1, but there was something special about me before that is still vital and needed as long as it doesn't hinder the US. Darryl loves for me to give my point of view for what WE should do as he makes the decisions (which is how we've chosen to do things in our house... he's the head & I'm the neck that turns the head - lol). Once when trying to get him to consider a decision, he gave it some thought and then said, "No, but tell me the pros and cons for why you think we should." He wanted to know what Theresa thought as a 1 and why that would benefit us as a 1. He told me he trusts me, he needs that part of me and doesn't want me to stop being ME. So if you're single, figure out who you are as opposed to waiting for a husband to define you, because the marriage will need your uniqueness as you bond together!
3) I'm still Saved, Sexy, Cool!
Ok, so before our wedding I was working out to be sure to fit into my dress! I refused to eat certain things, because I wanted to be pretty and confident for our pictures. Basically, I met my goal short a couple of pounds. The day after the wedding we were off to our honeymoon cruise! All the pressure and anxiety was over... freedom!!! Let's eat! Cruises are known for their food and my hubby loves food! So, let's do this! We had a ball eating, but the exercise ended as we spent more time chilling! We then had to travel for about a month after that so by the time we finally made it home... I had gained about 8 pounds and the summer time was here! There's that quick flash of an idea that says, "you're married now, so eat with your husband...weight doesn't matter as much as before"... but I'm the girl that loves high heels, cute clothes and I wrote the book "Saved, Sexy, Cool"! This is not a time to gain and let yourself go! Yesterday we were at home all day working, but I still did my hair, put on make-up and a cute sun dress after I worked out. When I came bouncing down the steps, Darryl was sitting on the couch smiling. "Where you going?" he said. I replied, "to the kitchen to cook for my husband and I shall look good doing it!" He laughed but his smile lasted all day and evening. I got you and I shall keep you smiling and happy by looking good on the outside as I work on being amazing on the inside!
I've spent just about 22 years speaking, ministering and teaching youth, singles and women what the Word of God says about living holy, living better and living on purpose. A fabulous journey indeed. One day, I'll be asked to speak to married women, but right now I'm gathering facts, living the examples I'll preach and looking for the gift of Faith to believe that as a unit we can accomplish any task God assigns and conquer any mountain that jumps in our path. Let the journey begin!
More to come....
Mrs. Lady WoW
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