"I Don't Want to be Like You!"

...I was reminded early this morning while walking the dogs that a young lady declared to me before an audience of about 12 of my mentorees that she didn't want to be like me!

Wow! You talk about eating the humble pie... I actually lost words to reply immediately! I thought the whole point of mentoring was for others to aspire to some part of you that they could emulate...was I wrong?

She went on to tell me that she didn't want to be like me—in my early 30's and still single (at that time). "Oh, okay Ms. Lady... then go grab you any old man, force him to marry you and live happily ever after!" lol - I so wanted to say this, but I had to act like a mature grown up and a leader, which can be boring at times.

Anyway, her basic thoughts were that my teachings: to respect your body by not sleeping around, live with integrity, follow God's commands in regards to your living, rid yourself of insecurity before dating seriously and much more... was equated to a sure way to not being able to find a partner to date and eventually marry.

It made me realize that perhaps a lot of other single Christians and non-Christians feel the same. It's as though your marriage-ability stock goes up if you have sex within 90 days, live full of desperation, present a weak facade of being confident and self-assured, drum up as many STD's as you can, and any other dumb idea like having sex flings due to loneliness... I would really beg to differ!

I know the world presents that view that God has no idea how to get you to the alter and in a successful marriage after that - (but when you do get there be sure to have a minister give you His blessings!) It's as though sex was never His idea, and marriage is not a godly principle. People - dear singles - He designed all the things you're chasing, so it seems to me that doing life His way would make you more successful! (I'm just saying...)

Yes, that single young female made it a point to declare that she didn't want to be like me, but being like me didn't just mean single in my 30's ... I guess she didn't want to be like me in other areas too: STD and abortion free; confident in who God made me so I'd be better suited to find the right man for me and decode the counterfeits; loneliness free because my single life was spent giving myself away to service instead of whining about what I didn't have; traveling the world to expand my knowledge-base and increase my worldview... should I go on???

Reality states the following:

1. some of the best things in life come to those that wait patiently
2. the race isn't given to the swift, but to the one that has enduring power
3. many singles don't get married until mid-30's so it's wise to live the best life possible full of destiny
4. real, lasting blessings know how to locate you anywhere in the world, and they overtake you when you're least expecting it (you even get warm and tingly on the inside)

Last I checked this same young lady is still single as she is closing out her 30's... interesting, maybe she'll consider being like me now. I got married at 40—and wouldn't change my man or my journey!

SINGLES... Live on purpose!

Mrs. Ordell

A Note to Ladies Never Married - especially if over 40!

Single Still???
Wife's Report

I know what you've thought plenty of times before...because I've thought it too: I never dreamed that I'd still be single at my age!

Many of us watched the chic flick Sex in the City celebrate Carrie finally marrying Mr. Big at forty years old. It looked so romantic and easy to do... but many of the die hard City fans remember all the episodes of the on and off, back and forth drama between the characters.

But what about our unscripted real lives? We aren't living from TV season to TV season, but day to day, month to month, year to year, decade to decade. Dating isn't easy for males or females in this generation. Carrie & Big did things according to a room full of TV writers; however, if you live by God's rules...things must be different.

Broken hearts hurt, being vulnerable is taxing and trusting God to join us to the right person is frightening! Some people can't move forward, because we're holding to tightly to a toxic relationship for fear of having to be completely alone until the real man shows up.

Nevertheless, as the Bible tells us in the book of Job... "there's hope for a tree that's been cut down, that at the smell of water, it will sprout again!"

I don't have a perfect past, and Darryl has often laughed at the fact that at least three times before him I thought I had found the One and called myself "engaged"...but none of those situations happened by God's grace and protection! I have been let down, embarrassed and hurt. In addition, I've been kept, blessed and renewed!

Mom told me a couple of years back, "you could have been married...but don't know if you would have been happily married!"

So I want to encourage you to not look at your age, frustration or past relationships. Tell the Lord you are willing to endure whatever, to get the person that is in His will for your life, makes you smile in the midst of turmoil, believes when the facts say doubt, and the individual that can burn away anger when they hug you. Yes, I'm a first time bride at forty...but I must say... I wouldn't trade nothin' for my journey!!! I've walked away from some relationships, simply because I trusted God and doing things His way is not always easy. All in all, hold your hope ladies! Psalms says, "my times are in Your hands Lord!"

And just as a quick side note: I asked the attendant at the bridal store if they gave discounts to first time brides at forty... and can you believe she looked at me as though I was crazy and said NO! The nerve of some people... I still believe that I've earned a discount for holding on so long! hahahaaa