How do you continue to continue when love looks hard to find? You trust in God against all odds! Like many women in my generation, I found myself advancing in work, but still single late into my thirties. Between traveling, a loving extended family and running a ministry for young adult women, I remained busy and hopeful. My situation seemed unique to outsiders, since I was born with three fingers on both hands and a length discrepancies with my legs; nevertheless, I believed I was supernaturally attractive despite these disadvantages. I was determined not to settle for marrying just anyone that came along. Love would find me.
After a series of test In October 2002, I found that I had very large fibroid tumors that required immediate surgery once friends donated blood for the myomectomy. Two days before the surgery I had to sign a form giving consent to a hysterectomy as the surgeons deemed it may be necessary due to the severity of the tumors. Here I was 33 years of age being told that my uterus was in jeopardy causing the opportunity to have a child or children to be threatened. Fear gripped me.
The 1.5 hour surgery lasted about 4 hours. There was a transfusion of 4 bags of blood, and I stayed in recovery for about 12 hours to be watched closely. I went home about 6 days later, with no hysterectomy! I was told that to ensure I'd be able to get pregnant, I should begin trying after 6 months from the time of surgery... needless to say, I vowed to only "try" if I was married. It would not be in my plan as a minister to be a willful single parent. In the meantime, I restricted myself to a vegetarian diet to ensure the reduction of the chance for the fibroids returning.
Time crept by without marriage. About a year or so later, I ran into one of the nurses that had been with me during this ordeal. When she greeted me she asked if I had started trying to have a baby. When I answered no, she began to berate me saying that it was a miracle I didn't have a hysterectomy, so I was crazy not to just choose anyone and get pregnant right away! I walked away in tears and for a brief moment I wondered if trusting in God's divine family plan was foolish. After focusing back in, I had to remember that the pathway to miracles is paved with doubt and delay, but not necessarily denial. I chose to trust the Lord's grace.
Fast forward to January 2008. I was 39 years old, not married and returning for yet another myomectomy surgery... the fibroids returned. There had been so many "almost" relationships that I was wondering if I'd ever get married and have children. The fear was greater as I prepared for what was to come. I confided in a friend, Darryl Ordell, about my worry and he quickly boarded a plane to be there during my surgery. Neither of us thought our care for each other would blossom into a marriage, we were just working to get through the surgery. He was a tower of strength as usual.
When I recovered, I was told that 35 tumors the size of eggs were removed and that scar tissue and endometriosis were discovered, both of which often breed infertility. My doctor said the odds of having children were very slim.
In April 2009, Darryl and I were married when I was 40 years old! He vowed to love me with or without children. Our goal was to enjoy the gift of love God had given us and to focus our love on our nieces and nephews and let the blessing of having our own children be left in God's hands. We figured that there were so many children to adopt that we could just let life unfold as long as we were together.
For a long time, I was afraid to ask the Lord for a baby, because the possibility of let down or miscarriage seemed too overwhelming to endure. There had already been a false positive that broke my heart. Nevertheless, I was feeling "weird" about three days before my 42nd birthday, I went to the doctor to take a pregnancy test. When it said POSITIVE, an on duty nurse could barely stand the excitement. Calling my name in the waiting room, she ended up running out to me screaming "YOU'RE SOOOOOO PREGNANT!" God had fulfilled our request. October 2002 I first had surgery, now October 2010 we found out we were having a baby!
For my first major ultrasound, we arrived at the hospital's high risk department as my doctor said he had major concerns that my own orthopedic birth defects would be duplicated in the baby. So off I went to get "checked out"! Suddenly, Baby Wow (as we affectionately named her before we knew if it was a boy or girl) decides to end all arguments and waved at the camera! This wave said: I'm cool in here, stop worrying, I'm giving the Lord a wave offering for his goodness, and ... oh yeah, I do have 5 fingers in case you're tripping! When the doc came in he said, "Well, I guess your orthopedic condition was just an isolated incident ... your baby has assured us there's no worries!" Even with 11 fibroid tumors during my pregnancy, the doctors are awe struck at how wonderful the pregnancy is going. Our c-section is set for May 19th, and we're naming the baby girl
Iris Grace.
Our family stands on the power of two scriptures: Zechariah 4:7 ‘Who are you, O great mountain? Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain! And he shall bring forth the capstone with shouts of “Grace, grace to it!” ” and Psalm 118:23 - this is the Lord's doing and it is marvelous in our eyes! #getonamission #faceyourmountain
