You know the yellow tape used to protect a crime scene that warns for you not to cross the line? Well, I often think this is what a lot of singles should have around their lives to keep either unwanted visitors out—or to warn others that soul upgrades are still in process!
Many singles often wonder, "ok, so like I'm waiting around to find the right person...what should I be doing in the meantime???" Well, duh, hanging out holding your cell waiting for a stranger to magically text you isn't going to work! Get to work on you!
There are tons of things you can do to get ready for a serious relationship, especially with the plans of it leading to marriage. Here are just a couple of things, and we'll explore more at another time:
1) work on your communicating skills!
So do you tend to get frustrated with people when they don't "get" you or where you're coming from in conversation? Do you hate having to express your feelings without yelling, screaming, crying or name calling? Do you practice constructive criticism with friends? Do you express yourself in a rational manner to your boss or coworkers? If these areas are a problem, chances are that it bleeds over into your romantic relationships too. When you're dating, do you try to use sex to solve every crisis? Sex may temporarily stop the disagreement, but in the long run, you're telling the person you're dating that you are incapable of using words to express yourself. You are also telling them that you're a master manipulator. Try working on your temper, expression of feelings and most of all... listening skills! If you try to respond before they even state their case - try laying low with people and see if you've even heard them yet. Try this: repeat back to them what they've said and ask them if you've understood correctly. More later on this topic...
2) work on your disciplines!
I know this sounds so boring and dull, but remember we're working on a crime scene here! No long term relationship or marriage works without discipline. I honestly believe that your discipline practices will cause your partner or spouse to gain respect for you as a person. Disciplines cover food, exercise, work, setting and reaching goals, and expanding your spiritual development. It basically shows that you are focused on life enhancements and will only add to their life too! Do you read? Do you study even if you're not in school? Do you take extracurricular classes? Is your financial spending out of control? Show someone attracted to you that you are able to protect their heart in a committed relationship or their money placed in a shared account in a marriage.
3) work on finding rich experiences!
In my Me Management Discipleship class, I teach a lesson on the verb, "to live". I love that one of the definitions is "to have rich experiences". That speaks volumes to me, and I worked hard to do this when I was single till 40. Boy, I went to Italy twice, Paris, Australia—New Zealand, Jamaica, Bermuda, Bahamas, Hawaii and all over the country hanging with friends or traveling alone! I remember standing in the airport alone in Rome crying because my friends weren't arriving until the next day, and I forgot how to say in Italian "take me to my hotel" to the taxi driver. It's still one of my most favorite adventures! Anyway, back on topic. You must have something to share besides what you'd like to do "one day"! Stop being afraid of your shadow! Get up - get out - and do something so you have amazing stories to tell your spouse as you plan what other things you'll do together. Learn a language, befriend people from other races, eat at restaurants that aren't part of a chain around the country. LIVE! Be daring!
Ok - chew on that now and we'll discuss more later!
For more single updates, you can also follow on Twitter @harvestwords!
Love, The Mrs.
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