...I was reminded early this morning while walking the dogs that a young lady declared to me before an audience of about 12 of my mentorees that she didn't want to be like me!
Wow! You talk about eating the humble pie... I actually lost words to reply immediately! I thought the whole point of mentoring was for others to aspire to some part of you that they could emulate...was I wrong?
She went on to tell me that she didn't want to be like me—in my early 30's and still single (at that time). "Oh, okay Ms. Lady... then go grab you any old man, force him to marry you and live happily ever after!" lol - I so wanted to say this, but I had to act like a mature grown up and a leader, which can be boring at times.
Anyway, her basic thoughts were that my teachings: to respect your body by not sleeping around, live with integrity, follow God's commands in regards to your living, rid yourself of insecurity before dating seriously and much more... was equated to a sure way to not being able to find a partner to date and eventually marry.
It made me realize that perhaps a lot of other single Christians and non-Christians feel the same. It's as though your marriage-ability stock goes up if you have sex within 90 days, live full of desperation, present a weak facade of being confident and self-assured, drum up as many STD's as you can, and any other dumb idea like having sex flings due to loneliness... I would really beg to differ!
I know the world presents that view that God has no idea how to get you to the alter and in a successful marriage after that - (but when you do get there be sure to have a minister give you His blessings!) It's as though sex was never His idea, and marriage is not a godly principle. People - dear singles - He designed all the things you're chasing, so it seems to me that doing life His way would make you more successful! (I'm just saying...)
Yes, that single young female made it a point to declare that she didn't want to be like me, but being like me didn't just mean single in my 30's ... I guess she didn't want to be like me in other areas too: STD and abortion free; confident in who God made me so I'd be better suited to find the right man for me and decode the counterfeits; loneliness free because my single life was spent giving myself away to service instead of whining about what I didn't have; traveling the world to expand my knowledge-base and increase my worldview... should I go on???
Reality states the following:
- some of the best things in life come to those that wait patiently
- the race isn't given to the swift, but to the one that has enduring power
- many singles don't get married until mid-30's so it's wise to live the best life possible full of destiny
- real, lasting blessings know how to locate you anywhere in the world, and they overtake you when you're least expecting it (you even get warm and tingly on the inside)
Last I checked this same young lady is still single as she is closing out her 30's... interesting, maybe she'll consider being like me now. I got married at 40—and wouldn't change my man or my journey!
SINGLES... Live on purpose!
Mrs. Ordell
You are so right! I have met so many ladies who refuse to wait for God's best and it's such a vicious cycle and none of them end up with the lasting commitment they are in such a hurry to "make" happen. It breaks my heart. It's so important to allow God to write your love story and to do things His way. It might seem like you're being left behind at first while you watch everyone else sprint off with their men but it's so much like the turtle and the rabbit story, where slow and steady wins the race. Taking that time to hear from God and allow Him to make you a whole person helps you to recognize and be attractive to another whole person and the foundation is solid. It's so worth the wait!
ReplyDeleteMoore-Like-Jesus: I applaud your ability to speak the truths acquired from living a life of integrity. I also firmly believe that it is my privilege to live fully each and everyday that Jesus lays out before me whether it is like a blanket of flowers fragrant and multihued or a desert with dust, heat and drought. It is His purpose fully established in me that gives my life purpose and meaning. I have come to understand that since Jesus blood price for me is without monetary equivalent I am not able to be bought for a penny or all the money in the world. The yielding of the treasure of my heart to the man of His choosing is a gift giving that only Jesus can orchestrate and sanction because He knows whose heart is worthy of the treasure that I am. Thank you for being another visible reflection of love acquired and sustained His way. Continue to be blessed in all your efforts from someone striving to be Moore-Like-Jesus.
ReplyDeleteYou have truly inspired me. I just got my second wind to continue this single race. There were times when I didn't like the classification "single" but I realized this is where God's wants me be. Mrs. 30 days, I'm going to let God write my love story!!!
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see what God has in store for me
Too good to be true...
I LOVE THIS!!!!! I am in a relationship but still enjoying and learning to appreciate my singleness through this process ... not single to date , but free to give my full service to GOD and my children at this time... and its good to know that the 30's club is packed with singles...so we are right on time!
ReplyDeleteThanks T!
<3Qiana Nicole
Hey ladies! Yes, Mrs. 30 days - that's it right there... "let God write your love story"!!! As Takila said, it's not about the classification, but it's about maximizing the space you're in and being content in "whatever" state you're in!
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone ... and although I'm married, I cannot forget such a huge part of my life and not give myself away to those still on the grind!
Mad love for you!
Hello Lady O, I must tell you that reading this today was such a blessing...and quite an encouragement. Funny this is, I had the pleasure of meeting you some years back during a women's conference in Boston while I was attending what was formely New Covenant Christian Church, and currently "Jubilee Christian Church". My impression of you then, was actually, "Wow, I want be like her". Your books really touched me and your transparency was inspiring. It was so nice to meet a real person. Years later, I discovered this website and this topic rings so true to me. LOL. Uh, I believe it's the primary reason I am still single today: I honestly want to have God be a part of the whole of my life and desire not to have to be like, "Uh, Lord, can you close your eyes for a sec". This is certainly not a popular view -- and it has caused men who were initially attracted to me to leave because we didn't have a shared "conviction". I'm approaching 40 in almost 2 years -- but, I am learning to be content, knowing that I am honoring my Father. ('I don't mind holding out til the right one comes along Lord, just make sure I have some teeth' -- a line from a poem I wrote to bring humor into it all.) Anyway -- needed this! Love your spirit -- and appreciate your spunk, sis! And, God Bless you for your example!
ReplyDelete